Smugness incarnate

from Punk Uncle by The Antipoet

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about

Cuban rhythms established, “He’s riding his pushbike / to the shops” is the mild opener to a rant about “that middle class nazi fitness caliphate“. Yes, that innocent lycra clad cyclist is but the first of “those middle class nazis” that Paul is “quite prepared to hate”; highly inventive use of the rhyming dictionary (just kidding) thereafter ends each verse.

quavid.wordpress.com

lyrics

Smugness incarnate

He's riding his push bike to the shops,
he's off to get his paper and a box of Coco pops,
for the breakfast that he'll have on his return,
knowing the calories contained within;
this exercise will burn.
Oh, he is smugness incarnate,
(just one of those)
middle class fitness Nazis that I'm quite prepared to hate.
Oh, yes, he's smugness incarnate,
(part of a)
middle class fitness Nazi caliphate.

(But) before he takes said push bike to the shop,
he dons his sponsored lycra, bollock-busting, shorts'n tit-tight top;
a helmet that Ridley Scott once used
in the film: 'Alien'
and lastly,
pulls his socks over his shoes.
Oh, he is smugness incarnate,
(just one of those)
middle class fitness Nazis that I'm quite happy to bait.
Oh, yes, he's smugness incarnate,
(he's joined that)
middle class fitness Nazi caliphate.

~they're born again,
sworn to avenge
a stylised physique,
they'll patronise;
evangelise
'til we join their sweat soaked clique...

I
thought I'd take a shufti through the park,
(but I find it's) full of girls in skimpy gym kits that glow in the dark,
doing a zumba/ jazzercize/pilates class,
and they sneer at me because I can't be arsed to work my arse.

(Oh, they are) smugness incarnate,
(just some of those)
middle class fitness Nazis that I'd like to flagellate.
Oh, yes, they're smugness incarnate,
(part of that)
middle class fitness Nazi caliphate.

One foot against the lamppost
and he'll stretch,
as he grunts like Venus Williams until I'm forced to retch,
star jumps;
squat thrusts;
press ups:
watch him flout,
and all the while he's unaware his balls are hanging out.
Oh, he is smugness incarnate,
(just one of those)
middle class fitness Nazis that I've come here to berate.
Oh, yes, he's smugness incarnate,
(part of that)
middle class fitness Nazi caliphate.

They're superfit;
they've got all the kit,
but that won't get them far,
'cause on Saturday,
they'll 'ave their takeaway,
and a bottle of Ri-o-ja...

Oh, he is smugness incarnate,
(just one of those)
middle class fitness Nazis that I love to irritate.
Oh, yes, he's smugness incarnate,
(part of that)
middle class fitness Nazi caliphate.

Oh, how those middle class fitness Nazis compensate...
For their inability to procreate !
(Their total) inability to fornicate!

credits

from Punk Uncle, released July 22, 2019

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The Antipoet London, UK

"The Antipoet are at the forefront of the new movement; their material dripping with parody, takes poetry to a new level, with performances as memorable as they are hilarious"
Chris Wilson - The Stage

Combining the wit and wisdom of one of the finest performance poets with solo bass and the odd piece of gratuitous percussion to create the unique sound and spectacle that is The Antipoet ... more